Well.. crap.

When you fall in love with the idea of living with the one you love, is it completely self destructive to think about how much effort and cosmic alignments will have to occur to make it happen?

When your boyfriend finds a great, affordable, safe apartment for 2, but it happens to be in Los Angeles, and you don't have a job there yet, I think that its called being realistic. My J (MBTI what!) hurts just thinking about picking up and moving out there because it seems to be right in my heart.

I have to get my head to pick up the pace and feel the sense of hope and adventure that is brewing in my gut and in my chest.

I am more heartsick than ever, even with love and life progressing towards my ultimate goals. Uncertainty breeds doubt and anxiety, so I'm going to just go with not thinking about everything and letting things happen, for once.

I predict I'll last about 20 minutes.

What's Worse?

Is it worse to idly tumble through life, unaware of how heartbreakingly fabulous it can be, or is it worse to know exactly what you want and no idea how to logistically make it happen?

I'm about 99.9% sure that it's the latter.

Also, I am ready to ante up some serious cash for the first person to build a reliably successful teleportation device. Preferably with non-stop, round trip options between DC and LA. At a reasonable fare, of course.