Today is the day

...that I go back, full force, into workout mode. After a spurt of cleaning in ol' 8602 yesterday, I am amped and ready to go.

Plus, I have to justify the massage that I'm giving myself tonight. By jumping and running and lifting beforehand.

Whatever works eh?

On other matters, last night I was asked what I want professionally. What would I be doing if I wasn't working in higher education?

I said I'd be a professional sailor. Crew someone's boat and sail around the world on a whim whenever I wanted to. I was only half joking.

Then I realized that on some level, it doesn't really matter what I do for work. For the first time, potentially ever, I am ready to be defined by something other than my job title and duties. I am ready to be defined by my hobbies, my passions, the people I love, and my morals and values. I am ready to make my personal life a priority, and work to live, and not the other way around. Probably because for the first time, I've found someone worth throwing all that work BS by the wayside; someone to work with on my own personal happiness. That happiness at home transcends any work happiness and inevitably spills over into your professional life. Maybe the whole "laws of attraction" thing isn't complete bunk. I can be happy doing almost anything for work so long as I am happy in general.

So here's to focusing on general happiness, and the professional satisfaction will work itself out.

Well.. crap.

When you fall in love with the idea of living with the one you love, is it completely self destructive to think about how much effort and cosmic alignments will have to occur to make it happen?

When your boyfriend finds a great, affordable, safe apartment for 2, but it happens to be in Los Angeles, and you don't have a job there yet, I think that its called being realistic. My J (MBTI what!) hurts just thinking about picking up and moving out there because it seems to be right in my heart.

I have to get my head to pick up the pace and feel the sense of hope and adventure that is brewing in my gut and in my chest.

I am more heartsick than ever, even with love and life progressing towards my ultimate goals. Uncertainty breeds doubt and anxiety, so I'm going to just go with not thinking about everything and letting things happen, for once.

I predict I'll last about 20 minutes.

What's Worse?

Is it worse to idly tumble through life, unaware of how heartbreakingly fabulous it can be, or is it worse to know exactly what you want and no idea how to logistically make it happen?

I'm about 99.9% sure that it's the latter.

Also, I am ready to ante up some serious cash for the first person to build a reliably successful teleportation device. Preferably with non-stop, round trip options between DC and LA. At a reasonable fare, of course.